Imagine going through life with a feeling that you have forgotten something very, very important and can’t seem to remember what it is.

Like a soft hum in the back of your mind, this mysterious void constantly nags at you. You can’t shut it off. You can’t name it. It’s really not all that uncomfortable. It’s just there. All the time. Humming.

The hum aggravates you at times because you can’t identify it or know what to call it. You close your eyes and look up to the sky, hoping it will come to you as the sun warms your face–but it never does. Like the name of your best friend in the whole world that you can’t seem to remember, you smack your forehead giggling trying to shake loose the obvious.

You KNOW this hum, and the hum knows you–but you can’t put your finger on what it is even though it has somehow put it’s finger on you.

As much as it bugs you, the hum comforts you too.

It motivates and even inspires you to write, work, think, and create. It encourages you when you think all is lost. It reminds you that there is always hope–ALWAYS–and that there is something really, really meaningful to life–your life.

The hum is so fascinating that you search quotes and sayings to help put a name to it. You watch movies and TV shows to label it–or at least catch a small glimpses of it. You listen to music to identify emotionally with the deep feeling the hum gives you–the same hum that is hidden within the melody and the lyrics of the song. Every now and then, when the hum in your head meets the hum in the song, hot tears come to your eyes although you have no idea why you are crying.

The hum reminds you of unconditional love, acceptance, purpose, meaning, bravery, beauty, forgiveness, and second-chances. This is why movies like Braveheart and The Notebook move you so much and songs like “Free Falling” make you want to sing to the top of your lungs.

The hum makes you feel alive.

As much as it sucks to admit, the hum has been about the only constant in your life.

It’s been there ever since you were a little boy or a little girl. It was there when your parents divorced, when your grand-parents died, the night you lost your virginity, and when your best friend moved away. It was there during that one Christmas–you know, the one where Santa Claus brought you everything you asked for and mom and dad was so freaking happy. It was there as you unwrapped every birthday present, experienced your first kiss, and graduated from college. The hum comforted you as you packed up your 1998 Honda Civic and drove across country to the new city where you were going to “start again”–again.

Do you hear the hum?

I sure do.

I hear it all the time.

Imagine a world where there is nothing but rules.

Rules, that in order for them to be rules, have to be (or at least should be) followed.

Rules that bring a sense of expectation. Rules, that if broken, come with some kind of consequence. Expectations, that when broken, brings guilt, condemnation, and a sense of despair.

Imagine a church world of nothing but rules.

Rules that provide black and white answers. Right and wrong actions, and therefore, good and bad people–people who follow the rules and those who don’t.

Imagine a generation who realizes they cannot keep the rules and, therefore, have given up.

That’s most Millennial’s today and the way they view church.

The churches response?

Throw out the rules or relax religious expectations? God forbid!

We reiterate the rules. We assign accountability partners to help keep the rules, software to catch us breaking the rules, groups to talk about how we have broken the rules, services to recognize how we can’t keep the rules, and sermons that remind us of the rules we have broken and creatively communicates more rules for us to follow so we don’t break the rules again.

The natural (and human) response to rule-breakers is to become somewhat frustrated (and saddened) with (and by) them. To pity them for not being strong enough or committed enough to keep the rules. To point out their wrong doing “in love” and then gently point them back to the rules again and, if needed, subvertly apply different rules and expectations to help them from continuing in their wrong behavior. If the case is really bad, we add accountability and/or encourage attending a small group so the person can “do life” with others trying to follow (but continually breaking) the rules.

The Millennial response?

Bye-Bye.

Can you blame them?

However, they will agree that rules in general aren’t all bad. Actually, they will tell you that they appreciate the rules and are even glad there are such things.

Without them, the world (their world) would be chaotic–and they know it. Rules like, “don’t cheat,” “don’t steal,” “don’t look at porn,” “don’t have sex with whomever you want,” “don’t be lazy,” “don’t get drunk,” and “don’t think of yourself too highly” are actually a grace. They provide targets for them to aim for as they don’t want to live life aimlessly.

None of them, though, are able to hit the bullseye of any of these–most not even grazing the target itself much less hitting dead center!

Millennial’s have given up trying to live the “Christian life” because they are much too honest about themselves. They have have tried over and over again to live by the rules and they are sick and tired of failing miserably thus making them feel condemned and dead inside.

However, condemnation and death is precisely the point of the law and the fruit of external rules.

The tragedy of all this?

Millennial’s at their absolute worst are closer to Jesus than the church at it’s absolute best–and both don’t even realize it.

“I tried keeping rules and working my head off to please God, and it didn’t work. So I quit being a “law man” so that I could be God’s man. Christ’s life showed me how, and enabled me to do it. I identified myself completely with him. Indeed, I have been crucified with Christ. My ego is no longer central. It is no longer important that I appear righteous before you or have your good opinion, and I am no longer driven to impress God. Christ lives in me. The life you see me living is not “mine,” but it is lived by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I am not going to go back on that.

Is it not clear to you that to go back to that old rule-keeping, peer-pleasing religion would be an abandonment of everything personal and free in my relationship with God? I refuse to do that, to repudiate God’s grace. If a living relationship with God could come by rule-keeping, then Christ died unnecessarily.” – Gal. 2:19-21 (MSG)

Imagine if everyone in your life had a secret agenda for you.

That behind every kind word, developing friendship, or unsolicited conversation was a secret plot to eventually get you to buy, believe, or belong to something.

Imagine a world filled with social entrepreneurs.

A world where people are taught to dream big, create, and to go after their dreams. A world that tells you that people are YOUR greatest asset. A world that encourages you to surround YOURSELF with the right caliber of people in order for YOU to be a success. A world where everyone is publicly promoting some kind of political position, social stance, belief system, healthy diet, personal brand, or business concept–to YOU.

Imagine a world filled with spiritual entrepreneurs.

A world where religious people get behind the big dreams (or vision) of a belief system or spiritual leader. A world where religious people see you as a project to be completed and their religious institutions view you as a resource to be tapped. A world where religious people are taught to invest in your life and become your friend in order to invite you to a religious gathering or privately proselytize you over a cup of coffee at Starbucks.

Imagine a world where everyone wants something from you or for you–but not you.

From my experience, this is how many Millennial’s view the world around them–and they are tired of it.

They are tired of being viewed as a pawn on the chess board of others lives. But, at the same time, they are also tired of viewing others as pawns on the chess board of their lives as well.

The reason Millennial’s can sniff out an agenda like a fart in a car is that they have them too. They know what they smell like, sound like, and feel like. They know the game–because they are playing it themselves–and that is what makes the world so scary.

They can spot “unauthentic” a mile away–because they know what unauthentic feels like in their own hearts.

It takes a crook to catch a crook.

However, what Millennial’s desire MOST is to be loved and to love without an agenda.

They want to love and be loved with the end goal of giving and receiving love. They long to be loved as they are, where they are, and for who they are. If given the choice, many would chose being loved over being understood or even accepted.

They don’t want to be fixed, convinced, or recruited–they just want to be with someone whose agenda is to be with them.

When was the last time you befriended someone and invested your life into them because they were them?

When was the last time you “wasted” time, money, and resources loving someone without an agenda (even a good one) lurking in the back of your mind?

If you want to REALLY shock someone (particularly a Millennial) love them without an agenda.

If I’ve learned anything in working with the Millennial generation (those born after 1978) it’s that they are tired of feeling safe at church.

When CharlotteONE first started, we met in the gymnasium of a mega-church in a suburb of South Charlotte. After a year, we moved to another mega-church located a few miles outside of Uptown. After 8 months, we moved back to the gymnasium of the South Charlotte church where we almost DIED.

Now, both venues are phenomenal. The church that meets in each is even better. Both are doing a wonderful work in advancing the Kingdom in Charlotte, and without them, CharlotteONE would not be in existence today.

However, when we moved CharlotteONE from the suburbs to historic First United Methodist Church in the heart of Uptown, everything changed.

We not only tripled in attendance in the first week, but we also became more naturally diverse. The overall “spirit” and “energy” of our gatherings went through the roof and has stayed there for the last 5 years.

I’ve since asked myself, what changed? Why did CharlotteONE almost die after 2 years at phenomenal venues, but has thrived and grown in this old, historic church in the heart of Uptown?

There are many reasons, but I am convinced that the main one is that we aren’t safe in Uptown.

There is a grittiness to an urban setting that we have seen Millennial’s identify with and respond to. From what we can tell, they WANT to be where they can see, taste, touch, feel, and be bothered and interrupted by the blatant and challenging needs around them.

We’ve see an excitement as folks scramble for parking spots on Tryon St. instead of feeling insulated (and protected) by acres and acres of asphalt. We’ve seen the dynamic of the service change for the BETTER when a disheveled, smelly homeless guy walks right in and sits up front next to a pressed bank executive. We’ve seen some of the best friendships (and organic connection to local churches) happen at “sketchy,” “unsafe” places like pubs and bars afterwards.

I’ll never forget feeling both happy and sad when one of our volunteers got her purse stolen by a homeless couple sitting behind her (even though we have great security)–which reinforces my point! There was another time we had to gracefully redirect a guy going up the down the isles asking for money. Sirens consistently blare during the message. Girls ask guys to walk them back to their cars and to restaurants afterwards. People expect to be asked for money, food, clothes, socks, jackets, blankets, bus tickets, and hotel rooms.

Yet they come back again and again and again.

Scariest of all, since CharlotteONE isn’t their “church” or associated with any one particular denomination, people aren’t in their cozy ecclesiological comfort zones either.

The speaker that night may reinforce or challenge your safely guarded beliefs. We have conservative speakers. Liberal speakers. Charismatic speakers. Evangelical speakers. Reformed speakers. Republican speakers. Democratic speakers. Female speakers. Black speakers. White speakers. And even Catholic speakers and worship leaders–thanks Matt Maher!

Do we have a theological backbone at CharlotteONE? Yes. You can check that out HERE.

The point is (take it or leave it) our experience in reaching Millennial’s in today’s post-christian society, is that they are flat out board with feeling safe and protected at church. They want to be interrupted and bothered. They want to be challenged and stretched. They want to feel uncomfortable and unsteady.

Why? Probably because the Gospel isn’t safe or cozy–and neither was Jesus for that matter.

I typically do not write much about CharlotteONE on this blog or the guests that we have on occasion. However, I wanted to highlight Donald Miller for today’s post.

If you have followed my story at all over the last 1.5 years, you know that I am much more attune to “life as a story” or narrative. There are few who understand this more or communicate it better than Donald Miller.

A few years ago, we had Don for his “A Million Miles in a Thousand Years” book tour and it was phenomenal. More than the way Don spoke about stories or told stories was the way he lived out his own story while he was with us.

He was just Don–plain ‘ole Don. Period.

I don’t know him enough to say that really, but there was just something about him (Don) that made everyone in the room more comfortable because of his presence.

I love being around people who have been so ravaged by Grace that they are free to be more than they are, less than they are, better than they are and worse than they could ever imagine at the same time–and be ok with living in that tension and mystery.

That is Donald Miller and that is why I am looking forward to being WITH him in a room full of 20-30something’s tomorrow at CharlotteONE.

Don challenges me to press into the Grace that allows me to sin boldly and be ok with me not being ok while at the same time acknowledging that I’m not as bad as I think–I’m worse–and that’s ok too.

His is NOT a message of license to sin, but one of understanding myself as the beloved son even while I’m wallowing in the pig pen of my own sin and shame.

And when I come to my senses and realize this Grace, I always pack up and return home to my Father.

One tactic preachers use to get their listeners to think about eternity (and their life in the here and now) is to capture their imaginations with the reality of their death.

“If you were to die tonight, do you know, that you know, that you know, that you would spend eternity with Jesus in Heaven?” is a go-to question certain pastors love to ask their listeners.

Growing up in the church, I heard this question posed at least 1,000 times. Each time, I certainly took the question seriously. However, I also felt that the question was a little misguided.

Is death the most compelling concept to get someone to consider eternal things? Is asking someone to imagine their last breath on earth the most gripping question to spark someone to consider their eternity? Do we have to “live like we are dying” (thanks Tim McGraw) to get the most out of our life and be prepared for the next?

Bottom line: “Does the reality of death produce the life we desire to live in the hear and now and in eternity?”

I would argue there is a greater force alive in the world today (and in eternity) that is more compelling than death. This force has WAY more capacity to change hearts and capture imaginations at the end of a message. This force actually takes AWAY the fear of death.

What is this force?

Love.

If we come to faith because we are afraid of dying without Jesus and not going to Heaven, then our faith is built on a foundation of fear–and God is not the author of fear. No wonder so many converts spend most of their days worried and anxious about their “eternal status” and having a “right relationship” with Jesus.

If fear of death and missing out on eternity with Jesus is the foundation of our faith commitment, then what makes us think this will produce a life of joy, peace, and love in the here and now?

I think the better question is:

“If you knew that you knew how deeply you are LOVED by Jesus NOW, how would that change your life in the present and in the life to come?”

I’m not saying we should not think about eternity or death, but I suspect many will get there only to realize that death has nothing to do with spending eternity with Jesus.

…that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.” – Eph. 3:17b-19

On December 1st of last year, I received a phone call from a donor who wanted to make a $30,000 challenge gift to CharlotteONE.  If we could raise $30,000 before January 1, he would match it–if not, he would not give a dime.

Although I was ecstatic, we had to essentially raise $1,000 a day to meet this goal.

As a way to help us raise the funds, we put my precious beard up for auction.  We launched www.ShaveOrSave.org (which is no longer active) where we gave YOU the chance to give money towards your preference–”shave” my beard or “save” my beard.

When the dust settled, we raised over $41,000 in 30 days with my beard raising over $6,000 of that.

So, I have a very expensive beard, a thankful heart, and a financially stable non-profit (although we still need more help!).

Thank you to everyone who gave towards this effort.  Please know that we will be prayerful stewards of the treasure God has given to you.  Every cent will go towards empowering local churches in Charlotte to reach 20-30somethings together.

PS – Yes, I am consistently blogging again.  I have a BUNCH of new content and a full heart.  Get ready for a new year of davehickmanblog.com.

For the last seven months, I’ve been growing what has become known as “Beard.”

Beard has pretty much taken on a separate identity to my already eccentric personality.  However, it appears there are some who would like to see Beard go–including my wife and Board of Directors.  There are some who would like to see Beard stay–like me and most other cool people.

Coca-Cola Bottling Company has made a $30,000 challenge gift to the CharlotteONE community.  If we can raise (or have pledged) $30,000 by December 31st Coca-Cola will match it with an aditional $30,000.  If we don’t raise $30,000 by December 31st, they will not match it.

So, I’m putting Beard on the line in a sacrificial effort to help our non-profit raise (or have pledged) $30,000 by December 31 of this year

You can decide whether I “Shave or Save” Beard by going to www.ShaveOrSave.org and giving towards your preference–Shave or Save.

I will then “Shave or Save” Beard LIVE at CharlotteONE’s winter/spring kick-off on Tuesday, January 15th at First United Methodist Church.

You can watch a :60 second video about the campaign HERE!

Choose wisely and remember to put your money where my beard is.

 www.ShaveOrSave.org

Sitting silently and still is not easy for someone with Tourettes Syndrome.

However, over the last year, God has given me the grace to sit in this posture with Him most mornings.  Below is a brief outline of my experience in hearing and discerning The Fathers voice in these moments–which consequently mirrors Elijah’s experience in 1 Kings 19.

In 1 Kings 19, Elijah goes and stands on a mountain waiting to hear the voice of God concerning his distressed situation.  As he waited for the Lord to “pass by,” Elijah experienced a wave of three things before God’s voice finally came–or he was able to finally hear it.

“First came a fierce wind that tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before Elijah.  However, the Lord was not in the wind.”  - 1 Kings 19:11a

When I first silently position myself to hear from the Lord, I am typically hit in the face with an immediate and furious wind of random thoughts, feelings, and emotions.  I have come to expect this and to be patient with myself during this initial storm. However, the Lord’s voice has never come to me in or through these initial moments.

“After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake.” - 1 Kings 19:11b

After the wind of random thoughts, feelings, and emotions typically comes the second wave–the desire to move.  As the thoughts, feelings, and emotions develop, my tendency is to act (or move) on these feelings and thoughts.  I am tempted to break out my journal and write, turn on my computer and blog, or grab a piece of scratch paper and jot down insights for my next sermon.  This is like an earthquake inside of me!  It’s extremely hard NOT to do these things as they all seem so beneficial and helpful.  However, I have found that in this too, the Lord’s voice is not found.

“After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire.” - 1 Kings 19:12a

Then there is the fire of self-denial.  At this point, EVERYTHING within me wants to act upon what I’m feeling and experiencing.  This produces in me a “fire” to DO and not BE.  My gut starts to literally burn as I deny these feelings and my desire to write, type, talk, journal, pray, condemn myself, etc.  Frankly, it just frustrates the hell out of me to not do these things–thus the fiery burn.

“And after the fire came a gentle whisper.”  - 1 Kings 19:12b

At this point, I typically feel helpless–burnt up by self-condemning thoughts and guilty feelings coupled with the fiery frustration of not allowing myself to DO anything with these desires.

Then, out of the frustration and surrender of simply allowing myself to BE typically comes the whisper.  The whisper usually sounds like something I would NEVER say or think to myself (although it feels like a secret I’ve always known to be true).  It could be a phrase, a scripture, or a single word.  How do I know it’s of the Lord?  Well, before I know it, I’m usually shaking my head in agreement–agreement that I am prideful, or loved, or worse than I think, or better off that I could ever imagine–or all those at once.

This whisper quiets my soul, causes my shoulders to relax, levels out my breathing, and lovingly draws my attention to Reality.

And when I hear it, I typically close my eyes (or “pull the cloak over my face”) and just sit still at the mouth of the One who continues to speak today.

“That which we avoid will tyrannize us most.” – Sigmund Freud

I used to think it was my lack of devotion that made me miserable.  Then I thought it had to do with my inability to keep the rules.  I then became convinced it was because I was suppressing some kind of special “call” for my life.  After a while, I just gave up and thought it was pretty much everything about me–especially the prideful, sinful parts (which was pretty much all of me).

However, that which tyrannized me the most, was not myself but my lack of accepting myself–the very thing I was told to avoid growing up in the church.

Only when I came face-to-face with Grace did the tyranny stop–enabling me to receive that which I had avoided most–Grace.

What might be tormenting you most may not be the past or your spiritual apathy or your ongoing sins–but your avoidance of receiving grace.

That which you avoid will tyrannize you the most.

“Before we can surrender ourselves we must become ourselves, for no one can give up what he or she does not first possess.” - David Benner, The Gift of Being Yourself